Building a Better Relationship With Your Horse
by Jonelle Reuland

Sadly, however, many horse-human relationships never develop their full potential because horseowners, especially novices, may not understand the basics of equine behavior. This is important not only for safe handling of the horse on the ground, including for the farrier and vet, it also is the basis for a better relationship under saddle. By developing your leadership skills, based on equine behavior, you can help ensure that you and your horse have many happy years together. 

If Only Horses Could Talk! It would be much easier to understand equine behavior if horses could talk! But since they can't speak English, you need to learn the language that horses use to communicate with each other. This means you will need to learn how to use your body language to influence your horse's behavior. 

For example, when you lead your horse does he try to charge ahead of you or step on your toes? These are clear messages that your horse doesn't respect you. He is telling you that in your herd (and yes, you and your horse qualify as a herd) he is number one. Although it is fine for your horse to be number one in your heart, it is not acceptable --and is even dangerous--for him to be number one in your herd. Horse owners who don't establish themselves as the herd leader are not going to have good relationships with their horses. These are the horses who are a struggle to lead, won't stand for the farrier or vet, move away from the mounting block, shy at every little thing, bolt and are simply no fun to ride or even be around.

Your relationship with your horse affects every interaction you have with him, which is why he needs you to be more than a friend, he needs you to be a leader. Blame it on Evolution Horses may seem like large and powerful animals, especially compared to humans, but they are prey animals with few defense mechanisms. Evolution has stamped them with the behaviors they need to survive. That is why it is so important for horse owners to understand these behaviors and to learn how to effectively deal with them. 

For example, what happens when a horse is frightened? Its first instinct, which is a survival behavior, is to run. This behavior can be very frightening to the owner, especially if he or she happens to be on the horse at the time! But anything that the horse perceives as a threat--from a shadow on the arena floor to a mountain lion-- is going to have the same response, which is:"Oh-Oh- I'm outahere." All too often this leaves a surprised rider sitting in the dust. This is not caused by a horse having fun or being naughty. The flight response, the horse's major defense mechanism, has been genetically reinforced over millions of years. The horses who survived to pass on their genes are the horses who took flight faster than the others in the herd at the merest whiff of a perceived danger. Any horse who took what we, as predators, would consider a more reasonable "wait and see" attitude likely ended up as "supper", which meant their genes did not get passed on. Another important evolutionary-based survival behavior also is the reason why horses are more comfortable in herd situations and why they don't want to leave the barn or their buddies on the trail. One, there is safety in numbers but as importantly, it gives them that many more sets of eyes to help watch out for danger. Having this support system gives each individual herd member a chance to rest, eat and drink. Without the herd, life would be much more difficult, if the horse survived at all. But herd life has its challenges, too. To keep the peace, each herd has a pecking order so every herd member knows his or her place. 

Although establishing the pecking order sometimes involves physical contact such as kicking or striking, more often this is done with body movements such as pinned ears or a snaking neck. Evolution also plays a role here because horses who do not or can not read body language are more likely to use physical force, risking injury that makes them easy prey. Horses that won't keep their place are sent packing and without the protection the herd offers, are not likely to survive. Understanding what being part of a herd means to a horse's survival helps us understand why they do some of the things they do that may not make sense to us, such as trying to run back to the barn after a trail ride instead of walking back at a leisurely pace.

Since horses do not have the cognitive ability to reason that humans do, they must rely on and trust the instincts that have ensured their survival for millions of years. Every Herd Has a Leader Fortunately for us, every horse herd also has a leader. Typically an older mare, the leader watches out for the safety of all the herd members. If she notices something is amiss, she moves and the whole herd moves with her. Not one member of the herd, including the stallion, will challenge her.

Although the horse owner cannot create a true herd situation --people aren't horses after all--it is possible to learn and apply some equine behaviors to teach your horse to respect you and to follow your lead. This takes time and patience, but it usually isn't difficult and is within the capabilities of even a novice horse person. Consistency, clear cues and specific body language, can make a huge difference in how your horse relates to you both in hand and under saddle. For example, a horse that respects you won't step on you as you lead him out to pasture; won't use you as a scratching post, won't charge you when you go into the stall and will stand quietly to be groomed. Under saddle, a horse who respects you stands at the mounting block; waits for an aid before moving off or changing gaits or direction. He will not try to pull the reins out of your hand, rush jumps, or spook at every real or imagined opportunity. He uses his back and his hindquarters with a nice soft contact on the bit, making the ride pleasurable for you both. Is this a million-dollar dream horse? No, he can be your horse--as long as he clearly understands that you, not he, is in charge. People often say, "Yes--but I really want my horse to love me!" He will not only love you, he will love you more because you have taken the time to understand his language.

Horses are happiest when they know exactly where they stand. Unlike people, they are not competitive for ego reasons. Once your horse knows you are the leader, life will be easier and more pleasant for you both!